INGRUN’S JOURNAL

Journal Entry June 2018

My team doesn’t know that I see a loss coming with us if the goalie doesn’t start getting his shit together. Some can say I’m a good predictor of things, but really, I just don’t feel people are looking hard enough.
All of last night seated at dinner with my fellow colleagues and they certainly didn’t look hard enough or notice that we were charged extra for that last wine bottle…maybe I’m a little crazy. Face it Ingrun, you are the kind of girl who keeps all your receipts in a folder. Do I still do that? No. Yes, yes I do.

At least nobody realizes that I’m hot on the case back at work and everybody else is as cold as can be. Simple mistakes keep getting made, when really the procedure is the same as always. Our case for the past few days is about a missing girl in Kiev, possible intel for an opposing group we’ve still yet to identify. Everybody needs to work a little faster. It’s already 5:45 and these people are still over on lunch making themselves drinks. I’ll leave them be, because I already have a good pursuit for Kiev girl. I just hope I can make it to her in time.

I need to take a break any chance I can get. I miss looking up at the stars after a long hike. I just want to buy one of those crappy little tents- the ones that say for two when they’re really for the size of a pet. I want to stay the whole weekend in that damn tent and wake up and make breakfast and try to unsee everything I’ve unseen this past year. It’s too cold right now to go out to Germany, maybe I’ll have to settle for somehwere else.

.I need to take a break any chance I can get. I miss looking up at the stars after a long hike. I just want to buy one of those crappy little tents- the ones that say for two when they’re really for the size of a pet. I want to stay the whole weekend in that damn tent and wake up and make breakfast and try to unsee everything I’ve unseen this past year. It’s too cold right now to go out to Germany, maybe I’ll have to settle for somehwere else.

I’ll look out my tent and see the stars, and see birds eating snakes. With animals, there’s at least some sort of pre-arrangement for their deaths. With people, the closer I come to solving every case, the farther and farther I see any sense of such arrangement. People are wild and vicious. Murder is pre-arranged selfishness. There’s never any sense of rhyme or reason to it, is there? I want to tell myself that I’m in the right line of work. And I have to be, right? I must be, because who else is going to put up with this? As much yoga I do, or as much as I try to clear out my mind, there are always going to be those little reminders, in the back of my head. They are always going to be there. Back to the camping trip. I guess I could figure something out in France? That would seem nice. I think it’ll just be me though, which sounds pretty delightful I must say. Just me, the stars, and animals killing animals out there. No need to retrace any steps. Just hear the hum of the bugs, I already like the sound of that.





Meena Jehan

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